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May 25, 2004

Palabas na ang aking


Palabas na ang aking labs na si Harry Potpot sa June 3!!! Excited na ako!

(For the meantime, manunuod muna ako ng Sha-rek 2 this weekend).

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Posted by atesienna at 06:42 AM | Comments (0)

May 24, 2004

Newsflash!!!!The APO's Los Angeles


Newsflash!!!!

The APO's Los Angeles concert last May 22 was a big hit! Grabe! As in sooper-dooper-mega-over ang saya dun sa concert nila.

If you grew up with the songs of the APO, matutuwa ka kasi halos lahat kinanta nila. Kinanta nila ang mga favorite at kakilig-kilig kong mga paborito na "When I Met You", "Bakit ang Babae", "Tuyo Na’ng Damdamin", "Anna", "Love is for Singing", "Wala nang Hahanapin pa"...

Ay, grabe talaga.. sobrang dami. Dun nga narealize ni Mariacelia na ganun pala karami ang hits ng APO. Para nga akong nag-stroll down memory lane kasi halos lahat ng kanta talaga nila may special memory sa akin. Like I always told Jim, kapag inlab ako nun, ang musical scoring lagi ng lablayf ko eh kanta ng APO. Kahit nga si Greta eh, may memories yan ng "When I Met You".

I don't want to spoil the surprise for the other states na pupuntahan pa nila sa second half of their tour kaya hindi ako masyadong magku-kwento. Pero like I mentioned sa forum ng apohikingsociety.org, kung nagdadalawang-isip pa kayo kung bibili kayo, dehin na! Buy na kayo ng tikets kasi talagang sulit na sulit. If you've seen the APO before, don't think that this will be the same one that you saw a few years ago. IBANG-IBA!

Hindi ko na masyadong nakausap si Jim before the concert because we arrived mga 6:30 na. They just finished rehearsing and for sure preparing na sila for the show. He just met up with me sa labas ng backstage, I introduced our friend Cecil and then hugged him for good luck. After that I shooed him back inside na kasi marami nang tao sa labas.

While we were outside, I saw mizBelle's Bido together with his family. A little bit after, I saw Kikay's cousins, Janice and Joan and their mom. Incidentally, Janice and Joan, Kikay's cousins, are cousins of Jen, one of the producers of the show, Kewlit Co. Actually, Jen and I were surprised, we have a connection thru more than one way. In fact, Bido was the one who told me about Jeff, the half part of Jen (hehehe) and also the other half of Kewlit Co. Si Bido kasi ang nagrecommend the photo studio nila kung saan ako pwedeng magpadevelop ng mga films ko. (Really good developing nga pala! Rekomendado ko sa mga nasa West Covina-Walnut area!)

So ayun, the show lasted until 11pm. Bawal ang ka-mera sa loob kaya wala akong pictures. Unfortunately also, may mga kanta pa silang hindi nila nakanta. Pero for the most part of it, grabe, lahat ng tao, kumanta, tumawa, sumayaw at medyo naluha. You can really see how much the APO promotes the Philippines and how well they let you know that not is all hopeless. Medyo na-homesick na naman nga ako nung marinig ko yung last song nila.

Sayans at hindi na kami nakapunta sa party after the concert dahil binalak naming hantingin si Keanu sa pinagtutugtugan nila dati sa may Sunset Blvd dahil nga request ni Cecille. Pero nagsend na lang ako ng text message kay Jim at sinabi ko sa kanya kung gaano kami kasaya sa concert. Shock-ka-kan nga ako kasi maya-maya nag-ring na ang telepono ko at pangalan nya ang nasa caller id. I personally told him how much we enjoyed the show. and kung ano yung part na gustong-gusto namin. Niloloko nga namin sya na pakisabi kay Danny na in-love na si MariaCelia sa kanya (hehehe).

I forgot to tell him na kwela yung mga spiels nila at batuhan nila ng linya. Na tawang-tawa kami sa portion nila tungkol sa "Di na Natuto".

Sabi nya, malamang babalik sila next year. So sa mga hindi nakapanood at ngayon eh nagsisisi kung bakit hindi sila nanuod o na-miss ang date ng concert nila, may pagkakataon pa kayo ulit. Next year, babalik pAPO sila!

Unfortunately, hindi na kami siguro magkikita until I come back to the Philippines this December. I promised him that I will let him know when I come home. Pero I’m sure mag-e-emailan pa kami before ako umuwi. Una, kasi nga hindi pa tapos ang mga gagawin ko para sa photography site nya and sa personal sites nila ni Ala. Pangalawa, as if naman hindi kami mag-co-compare notes sa mga librong nababasa namin. Pangatlo, hindi ko pa nadidiskubre kung ano yung mga world music na maganda na gusto kong iparinig sa kanya. Pang-apat, may itatanong pa ako sa kanya tungkol dun sa isang topic na nasa libro nya. At ang pang-limang rason – kasi nga friends na nga kami!

All throughout the times that I saw him, I got to observe how Jim is. There's something about Mr. Jim Paredes that just being in the same space he's in makes you feel so light. I guess that's what zazen does to a person. (He practices zazen meditation). I remember when he mentioned in one of his books how at first he couldn’t understand how the mere act of meditating makes the world a better place for other people. I guess now I can tell him: That maybe because it’s very infectious for anyone they interact with to feel a certain lightness and good vibes emanating from them. Something calming, something very inspiring I know that it may not always be like this for him, but in the instances that I did see him, he was projecting that calmness to others so very effectively that you wanted to feel it, too.

Na-repeat ko na ba na wala rin syang ere? Na nung kasama namin sya, feeling ko talaga, prenships kami? Bilib na bilib nga sina MariaCelia kasi nga, kung tutuusin, Jim Paredes na nga naman sya, pero kitang-kita mong very sincere ang pakikitungo nya sa iyo. Na kami pa ang inasikaso nya. I should know, hindi naman si Jim ang kauna-unahang taga-showbis na naka-enkwentro ko. May basis ako for comparison - marami! (hehehe)

Hanggang ngayon, masaya pa rin ako. Just like the feeling I always have when I get to meet good friends I’ve long been corresponding with sa internet for the first time. It has been a very good week. Nakaka-gaan ng puso talaga.

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Posted by atesienna at 10:18 AM | Comments (0)

May 21, 2004

This is going around


This is going around the emails right now, at least if you're Filipino. (I already have two in my inbox at work - one from my sister Greta and one from my friend in Seattle, who knows how many more I have on my 3 hotmail and 1 yahoo account.)

It's Patricia Evangelista's speech at the English-speaking Union (ESU) Philippines Public Speaking finals held at the Ateneo De Manila last March 6.

Patricia is 19, a mass communications sophomore from UP Diliman. Glenn Tuazon of ADMU and Carl Ng of UPD placed second and third places, respectively. Patricia is the Philippines' representative to the said contest in London.

(As of this entry, I am still trying to verify if she did win in the 2004 International Public Speaking competition in London last May 14. Since I went to the English-speaking Union website and there was no mention of her name on the site. Unless that site has not been updated yet with the current winners. Other sites like philstar and yehey and globalpinoy which had the article supposedly have broken links to the actual article now. If someone knows if the emails going around are true about her winning the international competition, please let me know.)

Her speech was touching for me since I am part of the Filipino diaspora that she talked about. She was able to comprehend how MOST Filipinos abroad feel about leaving the Philippines but not really leaving.

She talked about a borderless world. But she also said that no matter where in the world a person is, there will still be a place he would always call "home".

Patricia is part of the growing new Filipinos who have redefined "love for country" based on the demand of the times. That, now, it doesn't matter where in the world you live, what matters is what you contribute back to the place where you came from. That you have never forgotten who you are and are proud of it.

Read her speech.

Blonde and Blue Eyes

When I was little, I wanted what many Filipino children all over the
country wanted. I wanted to be blond, blue-eyed, and white. I thought-if I just wished hard enough and was good enough, I'd wake up on Christmas morning with snow outside my window and freckles across my nose!

More than four centuries under western domination does that to you. I
have sixteen cousins. In a couple of years, there will just be five of us left in the Philippines, the rest will have gone abroad in search of "greener pastures." It's not just an anomaly; it's a trend; the Filipino diaspora. Today, about eight million Filipinos are scattered around the world.

There are those who disapprove of Filipinos who choose to leave. I used to. Maybe this is a natural reaction of someone who was left behind, smiling for family pictures that get emptier with each succeeding year. Desertion, I called it. My country is a land that has perpetually fought for the freedom to be itself. Our heroes offered their lives in the struggle against the Spanish, the Japanese, the Americans. To pack up and deny that identity is tantamount to spitting on that sacrifice.

Or is it? I don't think so, not anymore. True, there is no denying this phenomenon, aided by the fact that what was once the other side of the world is now a twelve-hour plane ride away. But this is a borderless world, where no individual can claim to be purely from where he is now. My mother is of Chinese descent, my father is a quarter Spanish, and I call myself a pure Filipino-a hybrid of sorts resulting from a combination of cultures.

Each square mile anywhere in the world is made up of people of different ethnicities, with national identities and individual personalities. Because of this, each square mile is already a microcosm of the world. In as much as this blessed spot that is England is the world, so is my neighbourhood back home.

Seen this way, the Filipino Diaspora, or any sort of dispersal of
populations, is not as ominous as so many claim. It must be understood. I come from a Third World country, one that is still trying mightily to get back on its feet after many years of dictatorship. But we shall make it, given more time. Especially now, when we have thousands of eager young minds who graduate from college every year. They have skills. They need jobs. We cannot absorb them all.

A borderless world presents a bigger opportunity, yet one that is not so much abandonment but an extension of identity. Even as we take, we give back. We are the 40,000 skilled nurses who support the UK's National Health Service. We are the quarter-of-a-million seafarers manning most of the world's commercial ships. We are your software engineers in Ireland, your construction workers in the Middle East, your doctors and caregivers in North America, and, your musical artists in London's West End.

Nationalism isn't bound by time or place. People from other nations migrate to create new nations, yet still remain essentially who they are. British society is itself an example of a multi-cultural nation, a melting pot of races, religions, arts and cultures. We are, indeed, in a borderless world!

Leaving sometimes isn't a matter of choice. It's coming back that is.
The Hobbits of the shire traveled all over Middle-Earth, but they chose to come home, richer in every sense of the word. We call people like these balikbayans or the 'returnees'-those who followed their dream, yet choose to return and share their mature talents and good fortune.

In a few years, I may take advantage of whatever opportunities come my way. But I will come home. A borderless world doesn't preclude the idea of a home. I'm a Filipino, and I'll always be one. It isn't about just geography; it isn't about boundaries. It's about giving back to the country that shaped me.

And that's going to be more important to me than seeing snow outside my windows on a bright Christmas morning.

Mabuhay. and Thank you.

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Posted by atesienna at 11:01 AM | Comments (0)

May 20, 2004

Finally, finally... Knows ko,


Finally, finally... Knows ko, inaabangan nyo rin kung ano'ng nangyayari sa una naming pagkikita ni Apo Jim.

Kagabi nga, sumagsag ako, kasama si Maria Celia at si Fafa Rodge, sa press conference ng APO to meet Jim. I was so excited the whole day because, like always, it's really a good feeling to meet people whom you've establish very good friendships with over the net. Magpapati-una na ako na sabihin na friends kami ni Jim - with matching pulupot ng ring at middle finger ko - ganun kami! hehehe.

I know hindi pa naman kami lubos na magkakilala, pero personal emails tend to make that link between two people more 'substantial'. Maybe because ang interaction ninyo is always one-to-one without any distractions. Ang attention mo dun lang sa pinadadalhan mo ng email. (I should know, nakilala ko si Andres ko sa internet.)

Pero napapalayo ako....

So ayun nga, nakarating na kami sa hotel kung saan gagawin ang presscon. Nakita ko agad ang producer nila na si Jeff. He introduced me to his cutie girlfriend, Jen. Jeff and Jen are Kewlit Co. Productions. Very young producers, pero I have a feeling they will make it good sa concert scene.

While I was talking with Jen, nasa likod ko na pala si Jim, wala akong knowing. Nung tinawag na nya ang pangalan ko, nagulat pa nga ako kasi yakyak ako ng yakyak eh nandun na pala sya! We hugged like old friends for awhile. It really felt good to FINALLY meet him! I-nin-troduce ko si Cel at Rodge at nagkwentuhan kami sa may lobby. Medyo paos na sya dahil nga ilang weeks na rin silang nagpe-perform. Pero sabi nya, that 'paos' quickly goes away once they're performing already. We were there at the lobby for awhile until the presscon started and he walked with us inside the ballroom.

We got to sit with Vanessa from KSCI-TV here in LA. So while Jim was up on the presidential table having dinner and talking with Danny (Buboy was somewhere sa likod talking with friends), we were sitting at one of the tables in front talking with Vanessa. Small world, taga-West Covina din pala sya at wala kaming pinag-usapan kundi mga restaurants at kung saan masarap kumain ng chinese food! (Vanessa is Chinese).

After awhile, nandun na sa table namin sina Jim at Danny. Jim introduced us to Danny and we all got to talking - cellphones, the last elections, the internet, etc. Habang chika-chika, ka-text ni Jim si Ala at binalita nya na magkasama nga kami. Ala texted back na sana nga raw she was with us so we can meet, too. (Ala, hook-up talaga tayo when I come home this Christmas!)

Maya-maya tumayo na si Jim and Danny to go back onstage for the start of the presscon. The questions at first were the normal questions about the concert, and how they've stayed together for 35 years, etc., pero bandang huli, nung medyo pulitika na ang pinag-uusapan, naging colorful na tanungan. Their answers really came across as very sincere. Wala yung usual na 'showbiz' na mga sagot. I guess, being that they have always been vocal about their political stance eversince, what else would you expect but their honest opinions.

After the presscon, marami silang picture taking. We waited until it was over, tapos nagpapicture din kami (siempre!). When Jim got back sa table, nilabas ko yung dalawang libro nya na pinadala pa sa akin Ate Sharon prenship. Siempre, pa-autograph ako with the author. Sabi nya, dinalhan raw nya ako nung pangatlong libro nya. What a coincidence kasi yung third book nya ang out of stock nung binili ako ni Sharon ng mga libro. (Thank you, prenship Sharon!) So he invited us to come up with him sa hotel room nya to give me his book. So ngayon, kumpleto na ang colleciton ko! Sabi ko sa kanya, ayaw pasulatan sa akin ni Andy ang libro nya kasi nga papipirmahan ko nga sa kanya. Bababa daw ang value ng book nya if I wrote on it. Natawa sya when I told him that.

A few more pictures tapos nagpa-alam na kami para naman makapag-pahinga na rin sya. They're heading back to San Diego this morning for the concert there on Friday. Tapos balik na naman sila ng LA for the Saturday concert. We said our goodbyes, for now, and talked about kung paano kami magkikita sa concert.

It was a really good evening. I kinda know he would be very down-to-earth dahil nga sa mga emails namin. I had a feeling that he would be very candid also. I knew I wouldn't be disappointed when we meet kasi nga, in a way, some things you just know...

Pero hindi pa tapos ang kwento, mga kiddies. Magkikita pAPO kami ulit sa Sabado kaya for now, yung mga pictures muna na ito ang inyong tingnan. Sa sabado mas marami pa!

(click nyo na lang yung mga thumbnails).

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Posted by atesienna at 06:06 AM | Comments (0)

May 18, 2004

Wala akong maisip na


Wala akong maisip na title na mag-sa-summarize ng buong araw ko kaya yan na lang ang title ko: "Walang Title!" hehehe

Sobrang daming trabaho! Kelangang matapos ako ng deadline bukas. Pabago-bago kasi ang specs ng sistema kaya pabago-bago din ang takbo ng program ko. And since kung ikaw ang author ng program, ayaw mong umpisa pa lang, bago pa magkaroon ng ibang taong hahawak at lalapastangan ng program mo, ay magulo na kaagad ang coding mo. Siempre ang gusto m,o maayos at malinis ang program coding mo dahil kung hindi, lilibakin ka sigurado ng mga programmers na susunod na hahawak ng program mo. Kasi ganun ang ugali talaga ng (halos) lahat ng programmers - masyadong maurirat ng coding ng may coding. Pero bukas, aypramis, tapos na sya. Huwag lang, St. Jude, iibahin ulit ang specs ng program ko.


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Nanuod ako ng American Idol kasama si Maria Celia sa bahay niya. Buhay pa si Jasmine Trias, suprisingly. Pero kamtotinkopwet, suprising lang sya dahil last week wala masyadong bumoto kay La Toya kaya wa na sya ngayong gabi. Si La Toya na paborito nila Simon, Paula at Randy. Ang La Toya'ng expected ng lahat na susunod na magiging American Idol eh biglang nasipa sa pwet ng sobrang daming boto kay Jasmine. Siguro akala nila, papasok naman sya no matter what kaya inapura ng buong Hawaii at siguro buong Pilipino community of the US of A ang pagboto kay Jasmine Trias. Ayun. ulitimo raw si Paula napaiyak nung mawala ang La Toya kaya naman ngayong gabi sobrang alipusta talaga sila kay Jasmine. In fairness, pinakamagandang kanta lang talaga ni Jasmine eh yung huli nyang kanta na pinili ni Clyde Davis para sa kanya. Maganda at may ibubuga naman pala ang boses nya kung gugustuhin nya at kaya nyang i-reinvent ang sarili nya. Siguro the past weeks wala lang talagang dating ang mga kanta nya sa mga judges kaya siguro, maganda man ang kanta nya ngayon, too late the hero na. Maganda nga ang boses nya, pero pigang-piga na sya. Medyo kulang pa talaga sya sa stage presence at audience impact (kumbaga nga sa Eat Bulaga). Parang tama si Maria Celia, kung mananalo lang syang American Idol, hindi kaya matulad lang sya kay Justin Guarini?

O diba... Kayo ba, natatandaan nyo pa nga ba kung sino si Justin Guarini? hehehe

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Ang Ericsson T68 cellphone na bigay sa akin ng kapatid kong si Ringo eh mukhang may sira! Nung ginagamit ko pa sya sa Fido eh ok pa naman sya. Pero nung lumipat ako ng T-Mobile dahil nga sobrang laki na ng bill ko sa Canadian provider habang nandito ako sa Kalipornya, hindi na ako makapag-send ng txt sa T-mobile. Hindi pa naman ako pwede ng walang texting. Kinausap ko na ang tech support ng T-mobile pero wala rin silang magawa. Finally, sinubukan kong ilagay ang sim card ko sa phone ni Fafa Rodge at anoka, gumawa ang pagsend ko ng text messages. In other words, wala nang silbi ang ericsson ko. Bad trip, labs ko pa naman ang telepono kong yun!

Mayroon naman akong Nokia 8390 na telepono kaya lang, naka-lock sya sa Fido. So sa sobrang desperado ako, naghanap ako talaga nang site kung saan makakapagturo sila kung paano mag-unlock ng telepono. Alam mo, ang galing talaga ng internet! After a whole day ng pag-search sa google, nakita ko ang site! Takot pa akong mag-unlock kasi nabasa ko sa isang site na kapag ginawa mo ng tatlong beses on the same lock level, baka ma-lock out ka na ng telepono mo. Pero sabi ko, di bale... since wala na rin namang silbi ang telepono ko kung sakali, wala namang mawawala sa akin. Milagro! Yung isang level ng unlock, napagana ko! Isip ko pa... "Is dis hapening tu me?? Tama ba si La Aunor na may himala nga?!?!?!"

Pinasok ko ang sim ko ng T-mobile... Wag ka! Gumana nga sya!! O diba.. dance for joy bigla ang ate ninyo! Pero wag ninyo akong tanungin kung ano yung site - sa sobrang dance for joy ko, nasara ko ang windows ko ng hindi ko pa sya nabu-bookmark. Ang gaga ko, diba?

Anyways-high waist, nakakapag-text na ako. Sa mga prenships ko na hindi alam ang bago kong cell, email nyo na lang ako sa isa sa sampu-sampu ko atang email.

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PERO, ito ang highlight ng gabi ko!

Pagkatapos kong manood ng American Idol at umuwi na ako, maya-maya nag-ring ang telepono namin ni Andres. Wala na akong balak sagutin dahil nga gabi na at hindi ko knows kung sinex yung pangalan sa caller id. Alam nyo naman ang ate ninyo, sa sobrang dami ng fans, di ako masyadong sumasagot ng telefonix ng hindi ko knows kung sinex ang nasa kabilang linya. Pero naintriga ako sa pangalan kasi parang Pinoy ang last name. So sagot ang lola ninyo...

Aba, muntik na akong mahulog sa upuan ko... si APO JIM pala yun!! Yes, kiddies, andito nAPOsila sa California! Parte ang CA ng kanilang US tour. Feeling ko, ang tagal-tagal na naming mag-prenship ni Jim sa kwentuhan namin. Sabagay, sa pagpalit-palit ng mga emails namin tungkol sa website nya at sa mga photos nya na ginawan ko ng website, medyo nagka-gaangan na kami ng loob.

Nakikita ko na ng personal si Jim before kasama nila Buboy at Danny pero siempre wa naman ways para makapag-usap kami. Until I found out na meron na pala syang website. Nagsimula na akong mag-comment sa mga entries nya kasi very inspirational naman talaga. There was even a time na I was really moved by one of his entries that I asked his permission for me to publish it sa pansitan. And he unselfishly said yes. After awhile, nung magkaroon na ako ng pansitan.net at nag-iimbita na ako nun ng mga bloggers, inin-vite ko sya at si Ala. They were really kind enough to trust me with their sites. And that made me very, very happy.

So ayun, we've exchanged emails quite a lot. It's really nice to know that someone as popular as he is is very down to earth and walang ka-ere-ere. I guess that's what makes him and Buboy and Danny more successful. It's because their feet are still very much planted in the ground. Kaya naman maraming-maraming silang fans all through their 31 years in the business.

So tomorrow magkikita nga kami ni Apo Jim. May tour sila dito sa store sa may West Covina. And we've agreed to meet. Madala nga ang dalawang libro nya at mapa-pirma sa kanya. Excited na akong makita sya...

Finally, we both have come full circle!

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Posted by atesienna at 10:41 PM | Comments (0)

May 16, 2004

Kung matagal na kayong


Kung matagal na kayong bisita at nakiki-kain sa pansitan, maalala ninyo na may munti akong mga 'articles' na sinusulat. Hindi naman sila nawala. Hindi ko lang kasi naasikaso ang pag-ayos sa kanila. Pero nandito na silang muli! Hanapin sa kanang kolum ang "Sulat-sulat". Ang mga parehong numero (1, 2, 3...) ay magkakasama sa iisang isyu (syam na isyu yan).

Kaya't kung bitin pa kayo sa pansit-blog-blog ko, andyan pa ang mga Sulat-sulat ni Ate Sienna... Enjoy!

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Posted by atesienna at 08:03 AM | Comments (0)

May 15, 2004

May ilang taon na


May ilang taon na rin akong hindi na sa Pilipinas nakatira. Walong taon na akong nakikipagsapalaran sa ibang bansa. Walong taon na akong miss na miss na ang mga mahal sa buhay sa Pilipinas na ilang beses man akong bumisita at magpabalik-balik sa kanila tipong laging bitin ang mga linggong andun ako. Walong taon na akong nakikibalita na lang, tumityempo ng panood ng TFC, nanghihiram ng mga VCD ng mga pelikulang Pilipino, sarap na sarap sa chocnut, gumagastos ng sandamukal sa phone cards, nakikipadala sa mga umuuwi at bumabalik at manaka-nakang umiiyak pa rin kapag namimiss ko ang mga kapatid, pamangkin at lola.

In other words, walong taon na akong home-sick.

Minsan, iniisip ko, bakit nga ba ako umalis-alis pa ng bayan ko? Kung lahat ng bagay na Pinoy eh kinasasabikan ko, bakit hindi na lang ako umuwi... for good.

Umalis ako kasi, pakiramdam ko, lumalaki man ang sweldo ko, parang hindi ko pa rin nagagawa lahat ng dapat kong gawin sa buhay. Na-engganyo ako na mas malaki ang kikitain ko sa ibang bayan at mabibili ko lahat ng gusto ko, makakain ko lahat ng gusto ko, mapupuntahan ko ang mga lugar na gusto ko ng hindi gaano kalaki ang ilalabas kong pera.

In other words, ayoko nang kamakalam ang sikmura ng pitaka ko.

Umalis ako kasi, pakiramdam ko, lagi na lang akong sawi kapag puso na ang pinag-uusapan. Nagkakaroon man ako ng mga kalalakihan pero laging sablay - kung hindi iresponsable, ang tingin sa'yo eh walking ATM machine o may dyowang iba o nag-dyodyowa pa ng iba, o hindi ka sineseryoso at katawan mo lang ang gusto (mereseng hindi naman Joyce Jimenez ang pigura ko). Hindi lahat ng Pinoy sa Pilipinas eh ganito, minalas lang akong puro gago ang mga naka-enkwentro ko.

In other words, pinasakit at pinagod lang ng Pinoy ang puso at utak ko.

Kung tutuusin, ngayon na iniisip ko, ito lang talaga ang dahilan kung bakit umalis ako. Wala naman akong sariling pamilya. Wala akong mga anak na iisipin na kelangang buhayin. Pansarili lang talaga ang dahilan ko - una ang materyal, pangalawa ang emosyon. Iniisip ko, baka sa 'abrod' mahanapan ko ng sulusyun ang mga 'problema' ko.

So eto na nga ako. After 8 long years... Nag-emigrate sa Canada, nakakuha ng magandang trabaho, na-sponsor ko pa sina inang at itang ko, nagkapag-Canadian citizen, nakakuha ng trabaho sa Amerika, lumipat ng California. Kumportable na ang buhay ko. Hindi naman ako nahihiga sa dolyar pero maluwag-luwag naman. Nakakapagpadala ako ng perang pangtustos kay inang at itang at maayos rin naman sila sa Canada bago ako umalis patungong Amerika. Nakakapagpadala pa ako paminsan-minsan ng pera sa mga mahal ko sa buhay sa Pilipinas - pangdagdag-gastos ng mga kapatid ko, pang-gamot ng lola ko, panglaruan ng mga pamangkin. Nakarating na rin ako kung saan-saan - mga lugar na akala ko sa panaginip ko lang makikita.

At higit sa lahat, nakilala ko ang lalaking nagbigay ng importansya sa akin at minahal ako ng walang halong pandaraya, panloloko at pambababae. (Kaya nga ako nasa Amerika na ngayon dahil nandito na kaming dalawa.) Ang buhay ng buhay ko, ang taong nagpakita sa akin na may 'K' rin naman pala akong mahalin.

In other words, sa 'abrod' ko nga nakita ang mga hinahanap ko.

Pero miss na miss ko pa rin ang Pilipinas. Pakiramdam ko, kahit na gaano man kalayo ang marating ng katawan ko, para sa buong kaluluwa ko, Pilipinas pa rin ang tanging matatawag na tahanan nya. Hindi man talaga makakasundo ng pitaka ko o ng nabugbog na puso ko ang bayan ko, alam ng kaluluwa at isipan ko, Pilipinas lang talaga ang kaisa-isang bayan na mamahalin ko.

May mga bagay man sa Pilipinas na hindi maganda, sa isip ko, nabibigyan ko ng dahilan kung bakit ganun ang nangyayari at umaasa at nagdadasal pa rin ako na minsan, isang araw, gaganda pa rin ang buhay at pamamalakad sa atin. Na tataas pa rin ang halaga ng piso, na magkakaroon pa rin ng mahusay na liderato, na aayos ang trapik, na mawawala ang mga masasamang elemento sa kalye at sa gobyerno. Alam ko, mangyayari pa rin ito.

In other words, kapag napagod na ang katawan ko at medyo busog na ang pitaka ko; kapag nakumbinsi ko na ang kabiyak ng puso ko, pauunlakan ko na muli ang hinihingi ng kaluluwa ko - i-uuwi ko na silang lahat ulit sa Pilipinas.

In other words, may katapusan din naman ang pagiging home-sick ko...

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Posted by atesienna at 09:08 AM | Comments (0)

May 11, 2004

Nanggaling ito sa opismeyt


Nanggaling ito sa opismeyt kong super-ganda na si Ozlem. Pinadala nya sa akin sa email. Feel ko lang i-share sa inyo kasi kakatuwa talaga.

New Honda Commercial in the U.K.

There are no computer graphics or digital tricks in the film. Everything you see really happened in real time exactly as you see it.The film took 606 takes. On the first 605 takes, something, usually very minor, didn't work. They would then have to set the whole thing up again. The crew spent weeks shooting night and day.

The film cost six million dollars and took three months to complete, including a full engineering the sequence. In addition, it's two minutes long so every time Honda airs the film on British television, they're shelling out enough dough to keep any one of us in clover for a lifetime. However, it is fast becoming the most down loaded advertisement in Internet history.

Honda executives figure the ad will soon pay for itself simply in "free" viewings (Honda isn't paying a dime to have you watch this commercial!). When the ad was pitched to senior executives, they signed off on it immediately without any hesitation-including the costs.

There are six and only six handmade Accords in the world. To the horror of Honda engineers, the filmmakers disassembled two of them to make the film. Everything you see in the film (aside from the walls, floor, ramp, and complete Honda Accord) are parts from those two cars.

When the ad was shown to Honda executives, they liked it and commented on how amazing computer graphics have gotten. They fell off their chairs! when they found out it was for real. Oh! And about those funky windshield wipers. On the new Accords, the windshield wipers have water sensors and are designed to start doing their thing automatically as soon as they become wet. It looks a bit weird in the commercial.

Just one-second of computer generation is used to link the two halves-when an exhaust pipe rolls across the floor. At one point, three tires roll uphill because inside they have been weighted with bolts and screws.

Go to! this website and watch the commercial....you won't believe it!

http://www.daboyz.org/honda/

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Posted by atesienna at 01:47 PM | Comments (0)

May 09, 2004

iba na naman ang


iba na naman ang itsura ng blogger ha! Sinira pa ang html code ko nung sinabi kong gusto ko ng "comments". Buti na lang may back-up ako ng html code ng site ko!

Hay naku... lilipat na talaga ang pansitan.net sa MOVEABLE TYPE! Soon. (Pagkatapos kong gawin ang iba pang pending na dapat gawin... hehehe)

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Posted by atesienna at 07:09 PM | Comments (0)

May 08, 2004

Pansamandali akong naka-singit sa


Pansamandali akong naka-singit sa PC namin dahil nanunood si Andres ko ng TV. Nakagawa tuloy ako ng bago kong template, dahil nga summer na halos kaya kelangan na nating magpalit ulit...

Yung mga pinangakuan ko ng mga emails ko, susulat na po ako this weekend. Salamat sa inyong mga pagpapasensya sa pagiging mabagal ko. :)

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Posted by atesienna at 02:08 PM | Comments (0)

May 04, 2004

I love May!When I


I love May!

When I was just a young kid back in the Philippines, I always anticipated this month of flowers because of all the Santacruzan's, Flores de Mayo's and Sunduan's every year. I love looking at all the beautiful girls parading with their beauitiful, frillly gowns in and out of the streets. If my mom wasn't looking, I'd be joining my friends trailing the parade wherever they went. When I got a little bit older, we would follow them on our bikes.

When I was 18, I, together with my other friends, were part of the first Sunduan in Brookside Hills in Cainta. Take note, though, I am not, in comparison, a very tall and pretty girl. It was just that my mom and her social group were organizing the whole thing, and so naturally, their teen-age daughters and sons were part of it. My grandmother sew my pink off-the-shoulder gown with layers of different shades of pink and lavender ruffles by the hem. I also had a pink umbrella to match my pink gown.

It was probably because April just came and went and that meant me going to the beach and pools during family outings that I got really, really dark. Not tanned... DARK! Came Sunduan time, I was like a striking dark background against my pink gown. I never realized how ghastly it was until we saw the pictures later. I even had this one picture where I was sitting on a bench with the piano behind me. I blended well with the piano!

I took one look at those pictures and cringed. I hid them wayyyyy below all my stuff, hoping that being out of sight, they would just disappear, like a forgotten nightmare.

Unfortunately, I have bigger nightmares around me. They're called younger brother and sisters. Those ugly pictures just keep resurfacing everytime my brother and sisters think it was my turn to be humiliated or made fun of. No matter how many times I would hide them again, there will always be instances that I'd still get them in emails or surprise cards. Yes, these are my siblings' favorite photos of me. I used to get so mad at them, but now that I've accepted the fact that I am not what a beauty queen will be made of, I just laugh it off. And because now, I have my own ammunitions against each one of them. (Did you really think, I would let this go on forever without a fight?)

Why not just throw them? My mom doesn't believe in throwing or discarding memories away - good or bad pictures. For her, all our childhood pictures are 'cute'. They're all part of our past that will never come back and thus, are worth keeping. In a way, she's right. Had I thrown those away, we wouldn't have that to laugh about now. Looking back, I had fond memories of that time in my life. They weren't all good, but they're all worth keeping inside me. It was a first (and only time) in my life I was part of a procession that usually involves only the fairest and prettiest girls in the community.

At least for a time, I was part of what the kids trailed behind. I was the one being watched. Not bad for a not-so-beautiful-but not-really-bad-looking duckling. :)

o O o O o O o O o O o


One of the other reasons I love May is because this is the month of my baby Popoy's birthday!

My first-born, my first baby. I am not his mom, but he, together with Mokong and Chingching and the coming-soon baby, are my beloved kids.

Popoy's a very sweet kid, very thoughtful for his age and he's also very smart (just like Ninang!). Sometimes it amazes me how much he could absorb all the things he sees around him. He surprises me with the things I couldn't image he can do yet.

One of his latest feats is that at a young age of six he can already send text messages. He's not that fast and he uses whole words instead of the shortcuts. But it still amazes me that someone as young as he is can do something like this.

Popoy can also type and blog. He has, more than once, left messages in my tagboard, wrote a blog entry on his mom's blog for my birthday. He can write cards on his own. Just asking his mom's help once in a while to spell some words for him.

He makes me proud.

Happy Birthday, Popoy! I love you so much!

o O o O o O o O o O o


And the last reason why I love May is because of Mother's Day!

As I get older, I continue to appreciate my mom more and more. When I look at my nephews, see my neice on video and witness how "kulit" they can be at most times, it baffles me that my mom single-handedly took care of 3 girls and one super-kulit boy. She became a mom at an early age of 19 (my dad was just 20) and has never dropped the ball on us even once. Despite all the hardships and trials of the past, she has remained a firm and prominent entity in my family. I know she and my dad did things right by us while we were growing up. And I know that because, honestly, we turned out pretty well.

So here's to my mom... the big influence in my life (my grandmother Fely being the other one), the one I most look like, the one I seem to be growing old into in terms of quirks and habits, the one I share the juciest gossips with, the very first one who believed in me and still does, the one who will always be there to hold my hand when I need it.

I love you so much, Mommy. Thank you for being my mom...

And to the other moms in my life, Happy Mother's Day, too!

My grandmother, Fely
My sisters, Gretch and Pia
My aunts, Alma, Wella, Gerry, Leila, Norrie, Angie
My Andres' mom, Lorna
My Philippine friends, Meg, Sharon, the Lo_waists
My Calgary friends, Toni, Christene, Mary-anne, Lauren, LoveJoy, Eva
My logbook girls, Ojie, Joy, Gemma, Alitte
My net friends, Yvette, Dindin, Melissa, Renee, Mona

All of my friends' moms, everyone who's a mom, everyone who deserves to be called a mom even if biologically they are not, Happy Mother's Day to all of you!

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Posted by atesienna at 03:02 PM | Comments (0)