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November 15, 2005

Huwats da Madjik Word?

Nung Sunday-happy-Sunday, watch ako ng walang kamatayang "The Buzz" sa Filipino Channel. Hindi ko na napanood yung buong show pero naabutan ko yung Hero-Henry Angeles/Alfie Lorenzo/Cristy Fermin chuchuchuchu. At tutuong naloka ako!

(O sa mga hindi nakakaalam, magbasa kaya kayo ng mga showbiz magazines. or better yet, eto na lang ang basahin ninyo.)

Ano ang masasabi mo, Ate Sienna, sa nangyayari sa magkapatid na Hero at Henry?

Ang masasabi ko lang ay, "MAGMA-ASIM DAW BA????"

Ay, mae-engri ang mga fans ni Hero sa akin sa sasabihin ko, pero eto, sa true lang:

In the world they call Philippine Showbiz, ang utang na loob, hanggang sa mamatay ka, dapat hindi mo kinakalimutan. Hangga't hindi nagugunaw ang mundo, nakaukit ever na yan sa mahiwagang bato ni Darna. Mas lalo na kung bago-bago ka pa naman talaga. O sya, mega-hit ang mga pelikula nila ni Sandara at pinatulan ng maraming bagets (at mapagpaniwalang mga forgets) ang love-team cheneses nila, wa pa rin dapat na masyadong kina-reer ng magkapatid na Angeles ang mga sarili nila! Feeling ba nila, arrive na arrive na sa tugatok ng pinakamataas na star sa christmas tree si Hero para mang-okray-okray ng mga utaw sa showbiz na sa true lang, eversince the world began eh parte na ata ng showbiz.

OO nga, siguro dyapeyk na dyapeyk si Sandara at maraming ka-chenesan sa small little life nya, pero susme, patulan ba??? Kung matino syang boylet, pinabayaan na lang nya ang girlash na talk ng talk at sya, pa-mhin pa rin dapat.

Pangalawa, awayin ba si Alfie at Cristynellie??? Susme! Oo, minsan maasim yang mga yan, pero sa true lang, ang mga powers nyan sa showbiz, hindi mo pwedeng yurakan. May mga track record na yan na sa true lang, may achievements na sila in the industry, lola. Dapat ba silang awayin?? Depende kung sinex ka na sa showbiz. Kung wa ka pa talaga namesung, wis ka muna spluk kaya?

Pangatlo, bigla bang magmaganda at iwan daw ang channel na nag-build-up sa kanila? Sa true lang, di makikilala ang name nya kung hindi dahil sa ABS (o ayan, clear example ng showbiz utang na loob). Mistulang pinag-kagastusan sila ng husto para lang makilala. Enough na ba yng mga kinita sa kanila ng ABS in return, sa mga pelikula nila para mag-maasim ang mag-kapatid? Hindi pa. At sa true lang, go sya sa GMA? Pwede... pero wag pakakasiguro ang magkapatid na hindi rin nag-do-doubt ang GMA sa ugali nila. Isipin nila, it's all a game... it's a ratings game.

Ang tutuo nyan, kailangan, may reality-check ka lagi. Magmaasim ka ba kung sa true lang, gaganito pa lang ang nararating mo? Magmaganda ka kung kasing-laki mo na sina Goma, Aga.. oo na nga, sige na nga, si Piolo na rin.

Sya, sabihin ng mga fans ni Hero. Ever ka dyan! Di mo naman knows the issues. Sya.. wis ko masyadong knows kung anik-anik ang nangyari... pero I know enough to know na ang nagmamaasim sa showbiz, walang pinatutunguhan. Paanong sumikat sina Mega, Aga, Juday, Piolo, Gary V, Goma? Kasi knows nila kung sinex-sinex ang ookrayin. Hindi sila harapang umookray ng mga taong alam nila kakailanganin nila ever. That's the formula for success, darling - showbiz rin lang naman ang kina-reer mo, magpaka-showbiz ka na. Hindi pa rin nawawala sa uso yung.. ano nga bang salita yun?? Ah, humility.

In other words, don't ever forget where you came from, what you were before any of the little fame (and the little money) has arrived. Don't forget the people you meet going up. Sila din kasi ang makikita mo sa pagbaba mo.

At higit sa lahat... wag mong kalimutan ang dalawang napakaimportanteng salita sa mundo, na kung sasabihin mo with all sincerity, you will never go wrong, at dapat nasa-isip mong sabihin ng agad-agaran bago mapanis at umasim - "THANK YOU".

"Thank you" One of the most important little clues giving away what you are, how you are and what you've become. Maliit man na bagay at mas lalo na kung malaki, wag na wag mong kakalimutan itong mga salitang ito.

"Maraming Salamat" Hindi lang sa mga kaibigan mo, kundi sa mga taong hindi mo akalain na tutulong sa'yo. More than ever, ito ang mga taong deserving ng pasasalamat mo dahil hindi naman nila kailangan tumulong pero tumulong pa rin sila.

Kaya sa inyong lahat, maraming salamat, as always. Kapag sumikat ako, lahat kayo, paghahandugan ko ng award ko.

Fast Forward Ate Sienna sa Famas Night 2010...

"Maraming salamat sa bumubuo ng Famas, sa aking peyrents en brader en sisters. Sa gumawa ng gown ko, sa aking make-up artist, sa driver kong naghatid sa akin dito sa Fi-Ay-Si-Si. Kay God, ever. En most espesyali, sa inyong lahat..."

"I THANK YOU!!!!!"

*Bow*

Posted by atesienna at 02:32 AM | Comments (18)

November 08, 2005

Parang Kayo Pero Hindi

Ay, warningan ko raw kayo. Senti ito at seryus.

May email na pinadala si Mec sa blogkadahan email group namin kahapon na made me remember someone.

Mega-over haba ang finorward nya, pero may paragraph dun na "ar-ouch" ako:

"They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous. They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!"

Nag-reply nga ako kay sa email group:

hay naku..habang binabasa ko ito, isang tao lang ang nasa isip ko :)

i had this kind of relationship before. talagang, sobra-sobrang emotional investment for me. and to think, this went on for almost 4 years. bakit hindi kami? kasi may girlfriend sya... and yun nga, yung feeling na asang-asa kang kung hindi na sila, kayo na. hindi pa rin nangyari yun. so nung nagbreak sila tapos wala pa rin syang sinasabi sa akin, tapos nung tinanong ko, deny to death pa rin sya, isip ko, that's it. ayaw ko na!

may regrets ba ako? konti... he was everything i ever wanted in a guy - responsible, may promise of a budding career, matalino, tahimik, may itsura din naman... in other words, fafa-material talaga. pero kung hindi ata ukol, hindi bubukol. so ayun... hindi rin kami naging kami talaga.

pero when i look at Andres, and i know, meron akong nararamdaman sa kanya na ni minsan hindi ko naramdaman kay B - yung sense of security and the knowledge na mahal na mahal ako ng taong kasama ko. I never had this feeling kay B nun. kasi nga, kahit na sabihin nyang i'm someone special for him at he can tell me things na hindi nya masabi sa isa (bullshit yun, i'm sure), feeling ko minsan, it wasnt enough. kasi wala sya for me when i need someone to be there with. kaya naman, i was at my lowest weight ever - mga 97-100 lang ata ako nun. feeling ko nun para akong bulimic. kapag naiisip ko na magkasama sila ng gf nya, hindi ako makapagtrabaho, hindi ako makakain ng mabuti, panay ang iyak ko - nagsusuka ako talaga.

it was one of the darkest memories of my life...

Asan na si B ngayon? Asst. Vice-President na ng isang pre-need company. Napangasawa din ang kanyang GF na kasabayan ko. May mga anak na rin.

Masakit?? Medyo.. pero alam ko, mas fulfilling na for me, emotionally, ang relationship ko ngayon. At the least, yung "I love you" na naririnig ko kay Andres ngayon, talagang naririnig ko at hindi lang sya figment of my imaginaiton. At sus, hindi na kaya ako 100 lbs na lang? hehehehe...

Kayo? May naging ganito din ba kayong relationship?

Heto nga pala ang full scribe ng finorward ni Mec na email:

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends." They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay. They still date. They still have sex. They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score. Even her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."

She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are suspecting something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman? Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi? Sila kaya? "He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me. Parang kami, pero hindi."

They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous. They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out. They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila na" but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual
understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers.

Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. A nd for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna.Testing lang.

Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung
naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."

Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit. My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really arelationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't. Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a
disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindimo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy, a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka. Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya ... almost, but not quite.

Posted by atesienna at 02:29 PM | Comments (19)

November 03, 2005

It's A Culture Thing

Pagkatapos ng mga nakakatakot na mga istorya, magbasa ng iba't-ibang kwento ng mga blogberks tungkol sa kani-kanyang karanasan sa kultura.

Posted by atesienna at 04:53 AM | Comments (0)

November 01, 2005

Trick or Treat!

659d.jpgAno nga ba ang ibig sabihin talaga ng "revelation"?

Pareho din kaya ito nung mga monita-monito kapag malapit na ang pasko? Yun bang may secret Santa'ng nagbibigay sa'yo ng walaaaaaaaaaang kakwenta-kwentang mga regalo na parang napulot lang nya sa tabi-tabi. Tapos sa christmas party nyo, may "revelation" at dun mo malalaman na yung gagong nagbibigay ng mga regalo sa'yo eh teacher mo pala at hindi mo sya kayang dagukan kasi baka ibagsak ka nya?? Sa MATH at HOMEROOM????

Sabi nga ng mga intsik, "May you live in in-ta-res-ting times". At tru lang, medyas nga kakaiba ang mga nakaraang mga araw ko.

2c6c.jpgUnang-una, dahil sa impluwensya ng mga kapatid ko, napa-subscribe ako sa "Pinoy Big Brother" ng ABS-CBN ng isang linggo. (Bilib yu me, hindi kasya ang isang linggo para panoorin lahat ng archives kahit na mag-marathon kayo!) Bakit sya "revelation" para sa akin? Kasi gwapo pala si Uma. Hehehehe. At ang mas malaking revelation para sa akin eh makabago na rin pala talaga ang mga Pinoy. Hindi na sila kimi, hindi na sila mahiyain - pwede na rin pala silang pang-reality TV. Hindi ako magtataka kung magkaroon din tayo ng sarili nating version ng "Joe Millionaire" (in tagalog, "May Anda Ka Ba Talaga o Dyapeyk Ka Pala"?) o "Who Wants to Date My Mom?" ("Pwede Ka Bang Papa?") o yung paborito namin ni Andres na "Blind Date" ("SEB, Ok Lang?").

Pangalawa, may mga kaisipan na akala mo mali, pero kelangan mo lang pala ng ibang point of view para magka-revelation na, "Hindi naman pala masama pero hindi ko lang nga talagang kayang i-career." Ika nga, lagi kong sinasabi, basta ba hindi manok ang ka-dyug (o hindi pedo), ok pa rin. Different strokes...

Pangatlo, may nahagip ang mata ko na mga "revelations". Dyan lang... sa tabi-tabi. Hehehehe. Sige na nga, kahit na alam naman ng lahat ng tao kung ano talaga, deadma na lang na kunwari, "Ay tru???? 'Reveal mo nang bi-lingual ka?" Sige, palakpakan ng marami with matching kunwaring tears of joy. Chenes.

Pang-apat, 'wag ka nang mag-expect na magpapa-party ang ibang tao dahil gumawa ka ng kabutihan para sa kanila. Revelation sa akin na dehin na ekspekteyshen-antisipeyshen-aprehenshen-asampshen ng agad-agarang on the spot sing-along sila ng kanta ni nasirang Karen Carpenter. Wa na! Ang reveleyshen? Sometimes, some people just don't know what the right thing to do is and when to do it best. (Inulit-ulit ko yang sentence na yan, tama ang grammar nyan - kahit parang sintunado sa pandinig! hehehe) Huli man daw at magaling, huli na ang lahat, Facifica-Falayfay! Ako na lang ang kakanta. "Sometimes, not often enough..."

At pang-limang revelation, in the spirit of Holloween kahapon, hindi mo na kailangan ng dyongit na maskara para masabing may pagka-dyongit pala ang ugali mo. :)

HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI Belated Happy Holloween!!!!!

3c70.jpg

(As usual, extra ulit ang mga pamangkin ko. Kuha ito nung nag-trick or treat sila sa Greenhills this Holloween)

Posted by atesienna at 11:46 PM | Comments (0)