(Natawa Ako issue 2, January 12, 2002)

Ang Pinoy daw, bay neytyur, type na type ang kumanta. Hindi katakataka… bilangin mo na lang lahat ng karaoke, videoke at sing-along bar sa Pilipinas, ganun kahilig ang Pilipino sa musika - may boses man o wala. Pero ang nakakatawa, minsan wala na ngang boses, mali pa ang lyrics. Aray… parang isa na ako dun… Minsan seryosong-seryoso akong kumakanta, bigla na lang tatawa ang mga kapatid kong sina Greta, Ringo at Patring na parang nang-aasar kasi mali na pala yung kinakanta ko (mahilig kasi yung mga yun mag-”ma” as in mag-marunong). Pero atin-atin lang, pag pinakikinggan ko ngang mabuti yung mga kinakanta ko, madalas tinatanong ko sa sarili, “parang wala atang sense yon…” Eh kaya naman pala walang sense, kasi wala namang ganun sa kanta.

So para masabi ng mga kapatid kong buskador na hindi ako pikon dahil pikon-talo (kahit parang minsan naiiyak na ako sa inis dahil over silang tumawa) eto yung mga lyrics na akala ko tama pero hindi pala: Ang tanong na lang dyan, kanino ang mas kwela - yung sa orig o yung sa akin?

Kanta: Africa
Singer:Toto
Ang tutuong version: “There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do”
Ang version ko: “There’s nothing but a hundred men on Mars could ever do” (eh kasi nga “men are from mars and women are from venus”, diba?)

Kanta: Another Brick in the Wall
Singer:Pink Floyd
Ang tutuong version: “Hey, teacher, leave the kids alone!”
Ang version ko: “Hey, teacher, lean against the wall! ”

Kanta: Bohemian Rhapsody
Singer:Queen
Ang tutuong version: “Bismillah, oh, we will not let you go”
Ang version ko: “We will not go, we will not let you go” (Lahat tayo! Walang aalis!)

Kanta: Careless Whisper
Singer:George Michael
Ang tutuong version: “I’m never gonna dance again, Guilty feet have got no rhythm”
Ang version ko: “And I’m never gonna dance again, Guilty feelings got no rhythm”

Kanta: Thumbthumping
Singer:Chumbawamba
Ang tutuong version: “I get knocked down, but I get up again, Because you’re never gonna keep me down”
Ang version ko: “I can’t come down, but I’m up again, and I’m never gonna get you down”

Kanta: Up Where We Belong
Singer:Joe Cocker / Jennifer Warnes
Ang tutuong version: “Love lifts us up where we belong”
Ang version ko: “But things get up where we belong”

Kanta: Wasn’t Me
Singer:Shaggy
Ang tutuong version: “Picture this we were both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor”
Ang version ko: “Picture this we were both butt naked hanging on the bathroom door”
(bakit naman sila sasabit sa pinto ng nakahubad?)

Kanta: Wasn’t Me
Singer:Shaggy
Ang tutuong version: “How can I forget that I have given her an extra key”
Ang version ko: “How can I forget that I have given her an ecstasy”
(player na, drug pusher pa! Pero ‘tutuo lang, ah.. ang hirap naman talagang intindihin ng kantang ‘to!)

Kanta: Truly, Madly, Deeply
Singer:Savage Garden
Ang tutuong version: “I wanna dance with you on a mountain I wanna live with you in the sea”
Ang version ko: “I wanna stand with you on the mountain I wanna breathe with you in the sea”
(ay, sirena!)

At ang pinaka-over, buong kanta di ko alam ang pinag-sasabi ko!

Kanta: One-way Ticket
Singer: Hank Hunter/Jack Keller
Ang tutuong version
Choo-hoo choo-hoo train a-chuggin’ down the track,
Am gotta travel on, never comin’ back, woo-oo
got a one way ticket to the blues
Bye, bye love, my baby’s leavin’ me
Now lonely teardrops are all that I see, woo-oo
got a one way ticket to the blues
I’m gonna take a trip to lonesome town,
gonna stay at heartbreak hotel
A fool such as I there never was
I cried a tear so well

Ang version ko:
Choo-choo train, a-trackin down the track
Gonna travel on and never coming back woo-hoo
Gotta one way ticket to the blues,
Bye-bye love, my baby’s leaving me
now the lonely teardrops are all that I can see woo-hoo
gotta one-way ticket to the blues
Gonna take a trip to London town
gonna stay at heartbreak hotel
A fool such as I that never was
I cried the tears away-ey

Yun lang.. Baboo!

Eto, trivia. Ang tawag pala sa ganito eh “Mondegreen”. Pinauso ni Sylvia Wright nung 1950s ang katagang ito sa kanyang column. Nakikinig sya nung Scottish folk song na “The Bonny Earl of Morray” (Dyusko, alam ba natin yon?) Yung isang linya na dapat ay “Oh, they have slain the Earl o’Morray and laid him on the green”, ang narinig nya ay “oh, they have slain the Earl o’moraay and Lady Mondegreen”.